Drunk on truth to stupid baby power.

American Horror Story Recap: Fuck You, Pay Me.

This Nirvana cover doesn't count since no one is wearing a cardigan.

This Nirvana cover doesn’t count if no one is wearing a cardigan.

Episode 7 of American Horror Story: Freak Show picks up where we left off last week, with Jimmy showing up at the Mott residence to collect Dot and Bette. In the time it takes for the twins to finish their ice cream sundae, Dandy accidentally outs himself as a reader of Dot’s diary and a liar taking credit for Twisty the Clown’s death. Dot, extremely private conjoined twin that she is, announces that she wants to leave the Mott estate immediately. Bette, golden soul that she is, sides with her sister and abandons Dandy, the only man to brush his hand against hers on purpose.

Jimmy rehearses the Nirvana song “Come As You Are” for Elsa in an impassioned voice that induces eye-rolling in any organic life form within earshot. Even the other freaks for whom this is obviously intended are like, “Please relax.” Before he can expose her lies surrounding the twins’ disappearance, Dot and Bette appear in time to explain to everyone that Elsa was just doing them a favor, and that they’d asked her to take them to the Mott residence so that they could experience the finer things in life. In private, they blackmail Elsa for a chunk of the box office sales, plus a makeover and solo comedy show for Bette, in exchange for sparing everyone the true details of their disappearance. Dot secretly confides in Elsa that she plans to use her share of the pot to pay for the separation surgery. Elsa mentions this to Stanley over flank steaks; he outright suggests they murder the twins instead. She isn’t entirely opposed.

The last thing you see before getting duffed by Amazon Eve.

Your only identity after seeing this firsthand is “duffed.”

Ethel and Desiree show up at their sympathetic doctor’s office, only to be told by his grief-stricken daughter that he’d smashed his own hands with a hammer and shot himself after being unable to reconcile with the idea that people like Desiree and Ethel exist. It’s assumed this is Dell’s work, since he paid him a visit and ruined his surgeon hands in episode 5. This scene also furthers the notion that people from Boston are rude.

During a date of his own at the local gay bar High Noon, Stanley spots Dell asking around for Andy, the date from episode 5 who was maybe-murdered by Dandy. Back on the campgrounds, Stanley threatens to tell everyone about Dell’s preference for boy cooties to girl cooties. In exchange for Stanley’s silence, Dell agrees to kill one of his fellow freaks as neatly as possible in the next 24 hours. That night, he sneaks into Amazon Eve’s trailer with a soaked rag. She mistakes his advances for sexual–although I can’t imagine any excuse that allows for a person you hardly know hovering above you while you sleep–and righteously beats his ass with her majestic fists and trophy collection. Ethel and Suzi console her, and Jimmy insists that they report Dell to the police. In a too-real moment, Ethel soberly explains to Jimmy why it isn’t worth reporting to the police, and that justice is theirs to carry out. Before they kill him for his wrongdoing, Jimmy tries talking to Dell about it. By “talking” he means getting piss-drunk with the man and finding out he’s his father.  No comment.

[Madonna's "Hollywood" plays softly in the background.]

Flashing…lights, lights, light, lights.

Paul is still alive, recovering under Penny’s care. She goes back to her father’s house to collect her things and leave for good, but her father has other plans and introduces her to a tattooed guy who’s had a lot of practice emerging from shadows. She regains consciousness later with a new face à la Lizard Man. We’re entering an era of dads hating their daughters in new and exciting ways.

Bette is really feeling herself with her new look. There’s something about a new shade of lipstick that gives a person the audacity to talk more shit. Dot’s smoldering silence throughout this new boldness gives the impression that Bette has unknowingly ordered her Last Meal on death row.

Never one to miss a deadline, Dell sneaks into Ma Petite’s tent at dawn, offering her a pretty new dress to try on. When she thanks him with a hug, he snaps her neck. Her tiny body floats in a tank at the American Morbidity Museum, her pretty new dress the appropriate attire for the formal affair surrounding her.



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