Drunk on truth to stupid baby power.

American Horror Story Recap: Past and Future Tupperware

Tribute to Young Thug.

Episode 9 of American Horror Story: Freak Show arrived on time, but this recap did not. I was saving it in  a Tupperware container for the right time.

Rest assured that conjoined twins Dot and Bette’s lives are still in danger. When Dot isn’t openly considering a separation surgery that will kill her sister, Stanley is furthering his efforts to convince Elsa that murdering them (so that he can finally hustle their cold body to the American Morbidity Museum) will be a really good thing for everyone involved. Before dying in episode 8, Ethel had stashed them in a motel to keep them away from Elsa, but they were found anyway. Stanley and Elsa fabricate a story to them about an angry mob hunting freaks all over Jupiter and tearing Ethel’s head off, and cart them away to an isolated cabin, where an imaginary doctor will perform the separation operation on them in a dirty room. When they’re alone again, they weigh the pros and cons of separating: Dot wants her own life; Bette believes they’ve always been stronger as one; Dot knows Bette couldn’t survive on her own; Bette is willing to sacrifice her own life to make her sister happy; Dot is moved by Bette’s love and decides that they should stay conjoined. What a relief it is to know nothing will change. Together, they surprise Jimmy in his trailer with a declaration of eternal love and the promise to have awkward threesomes with him forever. He shuts them down because he’s still in love with Maggie.

LADIES, IF YOUR MAN AIN'T SPOON-FEEDING YOU PUDDING...

LADIES, IF YOUR MAN AIN’T SPOON-FEEDING YOU PUDDING…

Jimmy’s drinking is embarrassing. He’s taken up with new girl Ima, who ignores how sloppy-drunk he is when he spoon-feeds her desserts. If only Ima knew she deserved better than somebody’s last-call face. Jimmy scores another Tupperware party gig, but he’s too wasted to properly aim his dick-hands at suburban vulvae. He has a vision of Ethel at the party lambasting him for his drinking and dereliction. She tells him he’s holding onto the past, using the Tupperware as a metaphor in the prize line: “When you protect the past, you lose the future.” Could this also speak to my career in television episode recaps? Jimmy is kicked out of the party after touching the food with his weird hands. Dandy arrives at the same party soon after, flexing his rich, white charm to get inside and murder every woman present.

I must have missed this episode of Rugrats.

I must have missed this episode of Rugrats.

Dandy consults resident Miss Cleo AKA Maggie about “woman troubles.” While she pretends to see things in her crystal ball, there’s a flashback of Dandy murdering an Avon lady and attaching her head to his mother’s body to fashion a life-sized Dot/Bette puppet. Where, exactly, do the Motts hire help that’s guaranteed not to snitch? Maggie guesses that his conscience is clear, and he goes on his merry way. When a wasted Jimmy confronts him on his way off the campgrounds, Dandy assures him that he plans to do everything in his power to ruin him for taking Dot and Bette from the Mott mansion. After a hard day’s massacring, Dandy prefers to unwind in a bath of his victims’ blood, which he keeps in the plebeian Tupperware they used while still alive. Regina walks in on him, and he excitedly informs her of his newly realized self, because he believes her life is the only one worth not taking. Dandy was apparently waffling on that last bit, however, because when she returns with the cop from episode 2 to arrest him for his atrocities, he offers the cop a million dollars to shoot her in the face. Bye Regina. To show how far Dandy’s dollar stretches, the cop goes a step further and arrests Jimmy for the Tupperware party murders. I seriously wonder if any AHS staffers sink lower and lower in their seats as the season unfolds every week amid current events.

“Upgrade U (Desiree Remix)”

Desiree has a new boyfriend (Malcolm-Jamal Warner!) who is cooler and hotter than Dell. Dell has been overwrought with guilt about murdering Ma Petite and generally being a piece of shit. He writes a suicide note to Jimmy and attempts to hang himself, but Desiree arrives in time to cut him down. They hug.

There are only a few insane episodes left of the season!

UPDATE: American Horror Story’s plotline this season is weirdly aligned with the conversation our society is currently having about privilege and race, but instead of adding value to it, it trivializes and satirizes it. This season had huge potential to start a dialogue among, or at least instill thoughts in, its viewers on what it means to live among people who hate you for what you are. So far, they’ve mocked the Civil Rights Movement in a scene in which all-white “freaks” demand service at a lunch counter, and maintain a powerful, rich, white male character displaying utterly evil, psychopathic traits. In the most recent episode, this character utters a bribe to an obviously-bigoted cop, who promptly shoots a black woman in the head without a second thought. I’m aware that the season isn’t over yet, and that anything can happen on this fictional show. However, as past seasons have gone, things don’t really “work out” on AHS: the possessed nun gets pushed off a balcony instead of exorcised; the entire family dies and their souls are trapped in a house; the nicest witch gets trapped in hell. Who does it serve to see disadvantaged people debased and killed by colleagues who more easily “pass” in society this season? Why should I believe this season will be any different, and that AHS will use their position to the benefit of excluded people? I feel more and more like they keep ordering up these loaded premises and then carrying them out in such half-assed fashion that only middle schoolers are too young to question. I find it irresponsible, lazy, and impeding, especially right now.

donate2

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Basic HTML is allowed. Your email address will not be published.

Subscribe to this comment feed via RSS

%d bloggers like this: