Drunk on truth to stupid baby power.

We Need an Intern

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Tuskamaniacs–

Things have gotten pretty crazy around Tusk HQ lately, and we’ve been thinking we need an intern again.

Why intern for us? Because you love the cool stuff we post on here every day. Because you need college credit (that’s how legit we are, folks. We would just email your professor and say if you did a good job or not, and maybe sign a thing, I forget). Because you want to publish more. Because you’re actually the kind of sick person who likes to try and do tasks in order to gain experience and get better at things, like I was when I was your age, before I became a bitter, twisted, Gollum / Darth Vader version of myself.

What you would have to do: write some stuff, like the kind of stuff we post on here. Manage our Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr and Instagram accounts. Manage the comments. Help with submissions. Look out for other undiscovered, talented writers we should try and get to write for us.

If you live in New York and can help Alicia and me with our podcast— so, like, recording and sound editing– that would be amazing, too.

What you wouldn’t have to do: pick out my sweaters. Listen to me sing karaoke. Pick up the phone at two a.m. to the sound of me freaking out about my life’s direction. Appear as Lizzy at events when she’s disappeared to Mexico indefinitely without telling anyone. Re-enact Taylor Swift’s “Blank Space” video with Lizzy. Let Tom take you on a weird “joyride” around Hampton, VA while he talks about his creepy knife collection.

In a perfect world, we would be filthy rich, able to pay our contributors lavishly, and also able to provide a handsome stipend for an intern. We don’t live in such a world, and therefore we make a tragically meager amount from donations and ads, barely enough to afford the gaggle of MILFs I pay to follow me around everywhere and compliment me. All we can offer is college credit, publication, writing experience, education, love, appreciation, bordering-on-excessive praise when you do a good job, perspective, character.

If you know a college student in need of an internship, please pass this on. If you are such a student, or just a person who is okay with working for free, please send a brief thing about yourself and why you want the internship; a relatively error-free and coherent piece of sample prose, preferably nonfiction; and a resume, to thetuskblog@gmail.com.

We are interested in increasing diversity among our contributors. If people like you have historically been ignored, we especially encourage you to apply. If your sample is “36 Reasons the Hamptons are Simply the Worst This Time of Year,” we may urge you to take that nonsense up the road to a number of other publications that will pay you well and connect you with publishers and with prescription painkillers, probably.

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