5 Thoroughbred Drinks for Derby Day
As America’s eighteenth-favorite pony track for professional gamblers, Churchill Downs is no stranger to prestige. The name alone, amiright?
Most prestigious jewel in its elliptic crown: The Kentucky Derby.
Two kilometers of dirt track. Two minutes of bridled action. Two mil in horse cash on the line. Too fine an opportunity to drink yourself into a hatted spectacle beneath an awful Kentucky sky with thousands of your wealthiest friends.
In honor of the Derby’s 141st running, we asked a few of our favorite liquor jockeys to put the comparably venerable mint julep out to pasture with some fresh, Ohio-River-approved cocktails for your palliative enjoyment — wherever you might find yourself this Saturday.
Here are the tipples they dreamt up with nothing more to inspire them than the all too real names of long dead Thoroughbreds from the resplendent annals of racehorse history:
“Nothing says England like a Pimm’s Cup. Nothing says America like red flavored soda. Cram them together and you’ve got an affair to remember.”
– Chazz Whitmore, Fizz & Fern
· 2 oz Pimm’s No. 1
· 3 oz Big Red soda (or red soda of choice)
Combine over ice in a collins glass and stir gently. Garnish with an apple wedge and a pinch of bacon salt.
“Look, guy, I know you said no bourbon but that seems kind of dumb. Plus the name is sophomoric at best in the absence of bourbon. People’ll like this drink just fine — bourbon and all.”
– Hank Linecook, Oakland’s Original Kentucky Derby Bar
· 2½ oz bourbon
· Angostura bitters
· 1 tsp turbinado sugar
· Cinnamon stick
Grab an Old Fashioned glass and shake in a few dashes of bitters. Add the sugar. Mash them together with the cinnamon stick. Add the bourbon. Stir it up with the cinnamon stick. Fill the glass with ice.
“If Hemingway and Apollonius of Rhodes did some sort of ‘80s movie life swap, this is what I figure the H-man would chug while he scribbled out his take on Argonautica. Apollonius would probably be too freaked out by automobiles and electricity to have a drink of choice, but his name is pretty horsey, right?”
– Stosh Boomler, Applebee’s at Stonesfjord Mall
· 2 oz Ouzo
· 5 oz Prosecco
· Juice from half a lemon
Just kind of mix all that stuff in a champagne flute. The more you drink, the less the measurements really matter. Try to add one of those twisty lemon peels if you’re with your girl.
“There’s this slick technique for making fake caviar from Cointreau, but if you and your pals are into that sort of showy crap there’s nothing I can do for you. Instead, here’s how you make a Pisco Sour with Jager instead of Pisco. Sure, it’s showy, but it’s also kind of like, ‘Fuck you I taste like Jager.’”
– Orrin Pasqual, The Fudge & The Fireball
· 1½ oz Jagermeister
· 1 oz lemon juice
· ½ oz simple syrup
· 1 egg white
Shake vigorously. Strain into a champagne coupe. Sprinkle with your choice of bitters. Collect your winnings.
“Wow. This is a pretty cool horse. I mean, if I was a horse and this guy was my brother I’d be all, ‘My bro won the Triple Crown before they even called it that.’ Crazy. Anyway, this is basically a Rusty Nail: orange, like a fox, but dignified in a sexy kind of way.”
– Shep Oldridge, Kerry the One
· 1½ oz Scotch
· 1 oz Triple Sec
Crush some ice into a pony glass. Add the scotch. Float the Triple Sec up top. Fancy it up with a little orange rind. Man I really wish I could be there. This sounds like a fun party.
You play your cards right, your Derby party may just last you the rest of your life. And as you near your final moments, we hope you’ll mix yourself one last Colonial Affair, listen to this tender promotional tune by Dan Fogelberg, and think back fondly on this drink roundup.
One Response to “5 Thoroughbred Drinks for Derby Day”
Good to know new things. Thanks for sharing…..