I Just Don’t Know What to Do with Myself
I’m a straight, white male in my late ‘20’s in Brooklyn who DJs and works on a novel and blogs. On paper, I am as bad as it gets.
I am the product of a series of decisions I made in my early twenties: getting an MFA, moving. In my early twenties, I enjoyed Entourage and probably thought jicama was a disease people got in the 19th century. I hate that the idiot I just described determined the course of my life.
Anyplace there’s gentrification, if you’re a working-class white person, you’re just a placeholder in the neighborhood until the real rich people can get there. Even if you’re a racist who loves displacing people of color, you’re still a patsy who’s going to get priced out. People are going to discover your neighborhood for its cuteness, then do away with the actual cute aspects and replace them with dizzyingly fancy elements as quickly as possible. I cringe with dread every time I see a young family or a supermodel-looking person or a European traveler in my neighborhood; I breathe a sigh of relief whenever I see a pimp or a bank robber or a mustachioed man tying a lady to the train tracks.
I have a great deal of privilege as a white guy (by the way, is there anywhere I can read about that? I can’t seem to find a single essay or thinkpiece on the topic anywhere online) but even still, I’ve already spent the better part of a decade—as have all my friends—giving almost all of the money I make to—divorce yourself from real life for a minute and think about what this really is—a Land Lord, a person who is the lord of the land he owns and receives a whopping income just for owning it. For me, these people have ranged from genial and helpful to abusive and negligent.
And the rich people, when you actually meet them, because you’re serving them at the job that supports your ability to pay tribute to the landlord, bare no resemblance to any positive portrayals of rich people you’ve ever seen. They have no social graces, no fashion sense. There are no Bruce Waynes, only King Joffreys.
I know this is me bellyaching about being a white artist in New York. But I feel like I bought into an evil system before I fully understood it. But I don’t even know the alternative.
So what do I do? If there’s anything I hate more than the way I live, it’s people who decide to go off the grid and not let their kids celebrate Halloween and live on stolen garbage in the name of sticking it to the man, when they actually have a choice not to do that. The Bay Area is just as bad as New York in the respects I just outlined, plus there’s this. Most chill cities seem to function under a more subtle version of the New York gentrification system, and there’s no guarantee I’ll even pay less for rent anywhere else—my rent is manageable here, and my experience in Richmond, VA and a cursory glance at the Portland, OR Craigslist apartment listings paint a disagreeable picture. It’s harder to get jobs in those places, too. If I wanted to live in the suburbs, that would be too expensive, too.
If you need to hire somebody to write facetious personal essays, draw cartoons, do social media, organize and host readings, make WordPress websites that inadvertently become hubs for teen pop music fans, appraise snack food, and pet dogs and tell them they’re good boys, and you’d like me to do this work on your houseboat somewhere, you’re losing money right now by not getting in touch with me.
The Tusk 
5 Responses to “I Just Don’t Know What to Do with Myself”
Well, two ideas I have for you: first of all, if you want to have enough money to buy a place outright and stop having to pay monthly tribute to your landlord, you may want to try becoming a very aggressive saver and living well below your means. I’m sure you can find countless sites out there full of money-saving tips.
Also, Dave Ramsey has some great stuff written about how to improve your finances and get out of debt. (We have his book, “The Total Money Makeover.”) A tip I can tell you right away is that before you work on paying down things like credit cards as whatnot, first have a nice, big money cushion saved. I think he said the ideal amount is anywhere from three to six months’ worth of expenses – – and that’s EXPENSES, NOT INCOME – – but you may have to settle for something smaller – – like one month or even just a couple of weeks – – if you’re drowning in debts to pay off. This cache is crucial, because you don’t want to be in a position where you’re just one incident, one accident away from being broke or having to go into more debt or miss bill payments. You should also start an IMMEDIATE emergency fund before you get the larger fund set up. If your income is under 20 k per year, it should be 500 dollars. If your income is over that, it should be 1,000 dollars. (I know I just mentioned that the large emergency fund is based on expenses rather than income, but in this case I’m thinking his recommendation is based on what you can reasonably afford to put together PRONTO, based on how much money you make.) As far as the three-to-six-month fund, its size depends on the risk or stability of your financial situation. For people who earn a straight commission, are self-employed, have chronic health problems or a family member with such, are single, or are in a single-income family situation, it should be six months.
I would also recommend “The Education of Millionaires” by Michael Ellsberg. He has so many great and surprising examples, stories, and insights there, and lots of great tips. One I’ll give you right here is: always have a backup. Always have something to fall back on if new ideas you have to expand your business and increase your income – – or happiness with your work – – don’t pan out. This isn’t a Goddarned movie, Nate! None of this dramatic, all-or-nothing, go-for-broke stuff…unless you want to end up flat on your backside. The thing is, failure is not just the opposite or alternative to success – – it’s a road you must travel on your way to success. Unless you’re, I dunno, trying I avoid imminent death, there’s no need I get depressed about failure or make a huge deal of it. You fail, you study and learn from your mistakes, and you make a better attempt next time. If you have your backup already in place, then your failure isn’t going to cripple or ruin you; you can recover.
This is why he recommends keeping your regular, bill-paying job while you reach for the stars; it’s just a matter of carving out the time and setting aside some money for that purpose. You don’t want to just up and quit your job and end up broke and homeless if the new idea doesn’t pan out. You’d effectively be playing a very unnecessary game of financial Russian roulette. The dramatic stuff might make for great entertainment, but it’s not such a good idea for real life.
Hopefully the tips I just gave you will help. Even if you don’t want to get the actual books, you can probably find some free online resources by these guys…if I recall correctly, Ellsberg has a monthly online newsletter, and I wouldn’t be at all surprised if they both have newsletters or blogs you can get tips from.
Oops, almost forgot another crucial tip: TITHING. Bup-bup-bup! I don’t wanna hear it! Just do it. Be a blessing to others. Make it so that being in a better financial position doesn’t just benefit you – – it benefits others, as well.
For one thing, food pantries are in rough shape in this economy…and you never know when you yourself might end up in need and hoping other people have done what I’m asking (well ok, maybe telling…) you to do today. It’s up to you whether your karma is gonna be Lassie, or just a – – well, you know!
Reblogged this on The Eclectic Chick and commented:
Well, two ideas I have for you: first of all, if you want to have enough money to buy a place outright and stop having to pay monthly tribute to your landlord, you may want to try becoming a very aggressive saver and living well below your means. I’m sure you can find countless sites out there full of money-saving tips.
Also, Dave Ramsey has some great stuff written about how to improve your finances and get out of debt. (We have his book, “The Total Money Makeover.”) A tip I can tell you right away is that before you work on paying down things like credit cards as whatnot, first have a nice, big money cushion saved. I think he said the ideal amount is anywhere from three to six months’ worth of expenses – – and that’s EXPENSES, NOT INCOME – – but you may have to settle for something smaller – – like one month or even just a couple of weeks – – if you’re drowning in debts to pay off. This cache is crucial, because you don’t want to be in a position where you’re just one incident, one accident away from being broke or having to go into more debt or miss bill payments. You should also start an IMMEDIATE emergency fund before you get the larger fund set up. If your income is under 20 k per year, it should be 500 dollars. If your income is over that, it should be 1,000 dollars. (I know I just mentioned that the large emergency fund is based on expenses rather than income, but in this case I’m thinking his recommendation is based on what you can reasonably afford to put together PRONTO, based on how much money you make.) As far as the three-to-six-month fund, its size depends on the risk or stability of your financial situation. For people who earn a straight commission, are self-employed, have chronic health problems or a family member with such, are single, or are in a single-income family situation, it should be six months.
I would also recommend “The Education of Millionaires” by Michael Ellsberg. He has so many great and surprising examples, stories, and insights there, and lots of great tips. One I’ll give you right here is: always have a backup. Always have something to fall back on if new ideas you have to expand your business and increase your income – – or happiness with your work – – don’t pan out. This isn’t a Goddarned movie, Nate! None of this dramatic, all-or-nothing, go-for-broke stuff…unless you want to end up flat on your backside. The thing is, failure is not just the opposite or alternative to success – – it’s a road you must travel on your way to success. Unless you’re, I dunno, trying I avoid imminent death, there’s no need I get depressed about failure or make a huge deal of it. You fail, you study and learn from your mistakes, and you make a better attempt next time. If you have your backup already in place, then your failure isn’t going to cripple or ruin you; you can recover.
This is why he recommends keeping your regular, bill-paying job while you reach for the stars; it’s just a matter of carving out the time and setting aside some money for that purpose. You don’t want to just up and quit your job and end up broke and homeless if the new idea doesn’t pan out. You’d effectively be playing a very unnecessary game of financial Russian roulette. The dramatic stuff might make for great entertainment, but it’s not such a good idea for real life.
Hopefully the tips I just gave you will help. Even if you don’t want to get the actual books, you can probably find some free online resources by these guys…if I recall correctly, Ellsberg has a monthly online newsletter, and I wouldn’t be at all surprised if they both have newsletters or blogs you can get tips from.
Oops, almost forgot another crucial tip: TITHING. Bup-bup-bup! I don’t wanna hear it! Just do it. Be a blessing to others. Make it so that being in a better financial position doesn’t just benefit you – – it benefits others, as well.
For one thing, food pantries are in rough shape in this economy…and you never know when you yourself might end up in need and hoping other people have done what I’m asking (well ok, maybe telling…) you to do today. It’s up to you whether your karma is gonna be Lassie, or just a – – well, you know!
My apologies for the double posting…after I left the original comment, I realized that I really should’ve used the reblog feature with it, so I went ahead and did that, but I can’t delete the first comment.
I’m confused on many levels.
Level 1: You decided to be poor (MFA, DJ, blogger/novelist) – while the non-whites in your cute little neighborhood probably did not. How are you a victim of gentrification?
Level 2: You breathe a sigh of relief when you witness crimes and criminals in your neighborhood – while your non-white neighbors probably do not. How are you not a racist?
Level 3: Your list of skills are neither marketable nor desirable – yet, judging by the “DONATE” button that follows your mews, you feel entitled to and deserving of pay. Why?
Thanks for your input! You seem cool!