The Hamburglar’s Wife

He left in a rush after hearing an ad for the new McDonald’s Sirloin Third Pound Burger on the radio, and Victoria knew the day of reckoning had come at last.

Miri and the Manly Metronome

Miri had never been dry humped so much in her whole life.

No Napkin

“I’m in the coliseum fighting lions and you’re hugging bunnies in a petting zoo.”

Tourists

“She wonders if they are going to swim despite the odds, then reads on: the ladder isn’t to be used for swimming but for emergency purposes.”

How to Cheat Well

Today’s second Kacy Cunningham story, part of Tusk Fiction Week.

Cody the Boy

“You think you’ve had awkward sex?”

Museum Of The People

“It’s because I’m part bird.”

I Want To Live In A Beard

“You know the killer who spoke directly to God? I was the one who told the killer to tie his long beard like a ponytail with little elastics.”

Thunderbolt

“At first, even his embarrassment (such a humiliating feeling, this captivation) had a way of thrilling him. But as the weeks passed, the burden of his love no longer brought even tangential pleasure.”

The Last Temptation of Michael Jackson

“This Elephant Man bones, Liz Taylor, hyperbaric chamber bullshit you’re going through now is nothing. It’s nothing compared to what’s coming.”