Drunk on truth to stupid baby power.

Business World Power Moves You Need to Know


–Constantly asking your coworkers to tie your shoes for you

–Frequently having to be rescued from choking on Jolly Ranchers

–Playing the harmonica loud and fast and amelodically at various intervals throughout the day

–Arbitrarily finding a mother figure amongst your coworkers and clamoring for attention from her every minute

–Being afraid of skeletons
Demonstrate this by looking up pictures of them on the Internet and screaming in surprise every now and then

–Allowing yourself to be overheard playing pretend alone

–Becoming hysterically emotional when the vending machine is out of sour gummy worms

–Remembering the time that the sour gummy worms ran out and becoming hysterically emotional again, even though there are sour gummy worms again

–At dinner with a client, ALWAYS order chocolate milk or appy juice

–Explaining a fantastical world you imagined and its inhabitants to someone for several hours straight

–Bringing a rooster to the office

–Surprising everyone with imaginary gifts

–Making everyone watch you put on a play with stuffed animals, then getting tuckered out halfway through and wandering away

–Ask if one of your peers wants to play “fighting horses” with you. If they don’t, it’s because they’re a baby

–The ultimate power suit for men? A Spider-Man costume.

–The ultimate power suit for the modern woman? Ballerina outfit with basghetti smeared all over the front

–Saying you have a secret, then when someone leans in close to hear it, just go “bshpshfshfshfsh.” No one else will ever know

–Getting a tummy ache


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