Mandatory Internet Comment Questionnaire

By tombatten, September 1, 2015

Thank you for your interest in commenting on an article or story on The Tusk! While we value the democratic nature of the Internet and enjoy free-ranging conversations with our readers, the volume of comments received has necessitated the creation of this quick, easy quiz that potential commenters must take prior to posting.

When I read an article that I disagree with, I_____________________

1. Consider why I disagree briefly and then go about my business
2. Track down the author and make a point of letting them know they’re stupid and wrong and wasted my time.
3. I’ve never read an article I’ve agreed with.

When someone disagrees with me, I________________________

1. Try to establish common ground
2. Go to Twitter looking for support from like-minded individuals
3. Log out of Playstation Network and play a game on my phone for a while

The term ‘Politically Correct’_____________________

1. Is something racists and bigots came up with to blame when their awful views are called into question.
2. Is when someone votes for the candidate I’m in support of
3. Is what those bumper stickers say

My sense of humor is____________________

1. about average
2. much more evolved than anyone else’s
3. only appreciated on Reddit

Irony is best-described as_______________________

1. When someone says the opposite of what they really mean.
2. A theoretical concept with no real life applications.
3. The feeling you get when wearing freshly pressed clothes.

Devoting oneself to an ideological framework is only healthy if_______________

1. you are willing to remain flexible and empathic to viewpoints different from your own.
2. It goes unthreatened
3. I bet Sonic the Hedgehog’s girlfriend Amy Rose has a tight pussy.

Women are____________________

1. This question feels like a trap.
2. It’s spelled Wymyn
3. Scary

Men are___________________

1. I don’t want to answer this question either.
2. Thoughtless oafs
3. An endangered species

My religious beliefs are best-described as________________

1. my own business
2. the right ones
3. largely informed by the God of War series

If you were about to post a comment on a website and then saw that comments could only be posted anonymously, you would_____________________________

1. Go ahead and post the comment anyway, as I’m solely interested in taking part in a conversation.
2. Revise my post to include threats of bodily harm
3. Make the post and then take a screen cap of it and tweet the screen cap

Reading Comprehension. Read the paragraph and then answer the following questions.

A man and a woman are walking hand-in-hand down a busy city street. They stop outside a pizzeria and look inside, speak to one another, and then continue walking. Down the block they pass a Thai restaurant. Again they stop, look inside, and speak briefly before the man opens the door for the woman and then follows her inside.

Question 1: Which statement best summarizes the action of the above paragraph?

1. A couple looking for someplace to stop and get something to eat.
2. A horrifying display of rampant misogyny that perfectly illustrates how our sick society has normalized abusive behavior.
3. The woman won’t let the man have pizza.
4. Why were they holding hands?

Question 2: Why do you think the couple chose a Thai restaurant instead of pizza?

1. They just weren’t in the mood for pizza.
2. Why are we focussing on that instead of the fact that he held the door for her? See, that’s what I’m talking about—these subtle actions that reinforce that men are strong and women are weak and need to be defended.
3. The woman is on her period.
4. Maybe the Thai place has a cool arcade room inside?

Question 3: How would you characterize the relationship between the couple?

1. There isn’t really enough information in the example to be able to say.
2. Sadly all too typical
3. She seems like a bitch.
4. She’s his mommy.

Check your Score: Sorry, but having enough free time to take this quiz signifies a lack of meaningful engagement with the real world and thus disqualifies you from posting comments.

Categories: The Internet

Tagged: controversy, creeps, feminism, gamers, ideology, misogyny, outrage, sexism, trolls