Drunk on truth to stupid baby power.

Who Got Shot

Abbott_and_Costello_circa_1940s

A and C walk along the sidewalk on a Sunday morning.

A–There’s been another mass shooting.

C–A tragedy.

A–Doesn’t anyone have a plan for putting an end to gun violence?

C–Who has a plan.

A–Yeah, there must be someone.

C–No, Who has a plan.

A–I don’t know, I wish I did.

C–Listen, Who knows exactly what we have to do to end the violence.

A–It’s so sad.

C–It’s sad that we need a plan at all, but he’s got a good one.

A–Who?

C–Yeah, his plan is the best I’ve heard.

A–No, who has a plan to end gun violence?

C–Yep.

A–Who has a plan, though?

C–Yeah.

A–What’s the name of the guy with the plan?

C—What is pro-gun, actually.

A–The guy with the plan to end gun violence is…

C–Who.

A–That’s what I’m asking.

C–Who knows exactly what we need to do.

A–You said you knew someone.

C—I know Someone very well. But we’re talking about Who.

A–Whom.

C—Is he okay? I heard he got shot.

A—Who?

C—No, Whom.

A—Who got shot?

C—No, not Who. Whom.

A— No, who got shot?

C—Not Who, Whom.

A—Why are we debating grammar points when someone just got shot?

C—Someone got shot?

A—Apparently.

C—When did this happen? I just spoke with Someone last night…

A—Who?

C—No, not Who. Someone.

A—Who is someone.

C—Who isn’t Someone. Who is Who and Someone is somebody else.

A—And Someone got shot?

C—You just told me Someone got shot.

Pause.

A—I think I see what’s happening here.

G appears and blocks their path. He wears a long trench coat.

G—Excuse me?

A—Yes?

G—Do you believe in God?

A—Do I…what?

G pulls an automatic rifle from within his coat and fires point blank into A’s face. Blood sprays everywhere as A drops to the ground, dead. C stands frozen, his friend’s blood splattered across his face.

G—I killed your friend.

C—I didn’t kill him, you did.

G— That’s what I said.

C—What? I told you to kill him? 

G—What?

C— I told you to kill my friend?

G—You didn’t. No one did.

C—You said I told you to do it

G—I didn’t… you know what?

C– What? How’s he involved?

G shoots C in the chest. C falls to the ground.

C—Why… why…

A—I’m not Why, I’m Dave. But how do you know my brother?

End

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