by Rosa Escandon
Hi minorities, I’m just like you. Don’t let my fairly pale skin fool you; I have an accent mark in my last name. It means I’m ethnic somehow, just like you. Am I Latino? Hispanic? Maybe just French or something? You’ll never really know. But that’s the Internet for you. And today, I want to tell you about Donald Trump.
He’s been called a lot of things. An independent? A business man? Something that starts with the letter r and rhymes with ovarian cyst. I know what you are thinking: no I’m not talking about “rapist,” though technically, yes that too. But I’m not going to dwell on either of those scary “R” words and talk about what really matters.
We have to fight against the real evil. The political establishment: a crooked and evil political moderate with a long history of experience in Washington. Why would we ever elect a president like that?
Plus Hillary panders to minorities. Did you see her post about “Reasons Hillary is Just Like Your Abuela?” Listen, Trump is way more like your abuela, because he’s loud, he hates other Latino nationalities randomly (you know how she feels about Venezuelans), and always seems like he is wearing the wrong shade of makeup.
Come on minorities, we loved Obama. An outsider who was attacked for his lack of experience. We can have that again. Just in a slightly different color.
Yes, Trump has said stuff against Muslims and Mexicans. But… [write more later, come on, you are close. You can do this. You can do this. Do this for your family.]
So I’m here to say that I am a proud, supposedly Hispanic person and I’m voting for Trump. Why? Because he keeps sending cut up photos of my brother and I keep trying to reach him and can’t. Also buy Kraft Singles. Because I’m a writer and this is 2016, so you know this is sponsored content.